Thursday, 7 May 2015

Coming up for air

It's time to come up for air. Not in the sense of a drowning man trying to get another breath of air before sinking below the waves, but more like the pearl diver returning for his necessary allotment before returning to his highly immersive task.

.....

Don't you hate it when you have to tell somebody something and then when you actually see them you can't remember what it was? I commonly hear people my parents age talk about how they know they are old when they enter a room and forget why they did. That happens to me now, and I don't feel that old. Perhaps I'm just in denial.

Speaking of old, my birthday is this weekend. "One year older and wiser, too" goes the song. I don't know about the wiser part. There are days I still wonder whose idea it was to let me be a father. Several months ago (or maybe it was last week. who knows with this ancient memory) I was very frustrated with Tigger. He has a very short fuse that is very easy to light. His teacher at pre-school say he's great and doesn't have any problems at school, which is good. At home, however, he tends to blow up over some very small things. More often then anything else I lose my temper about him losing his temper. I worry that my temper (and the losing of it) is part of the problem and have tried to keep control of it. Angel says that my temper is scary because it's hard to tell that I've lost it until I blow sky high. I once lost my temper with Kanga because she was screaming at me (for telling her to put away her backpack) that I hulked out and screamed/bellowed back in her face. The worst part was I knew it wasn't doing any good. As soon as I started I knew how ridiculous it was and that it wouldn't help. I had the scene from Monsters Inc. in my mind when Boo sees what Sully does for work. Kanga and I talked it out after we both calmed down and promised not to scream at each other anymore. I'm proud to say that I have kept my part of the promise and I understand when she has difficulty keeping her's.

Anyway, I was frustrated with Tigger and thought, "Maybe Dad will know how to help." I picked up my phone and almost called him when I realized that he had no idea how to help. Sure, he could tell me what he and Mom did when we were young. Of course he could provide some insights and advice. But I wanted him to fix the problem and he didn't have the familiarity with my children to do it. The only person that could fix my problem for me was me. I could get advice from others, but they couldn't tell me, "X will solve the problem for you." My father was just as clueless at my age as I was. I think I did still call my dad just to catch up with him and see how he was doing, but I didn't mention my problem. A week or so later we were visiting with them and I brought up my realization. My father smiled and said, "Now you have learned wisdom, my son." Which may sound archaic but that's my father for you. So perhaps I have gotten wiser.

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