Thoughts before a funeral

My family and I celebrated Father's day by visiting my grandmother. I'm glad we did as she died two days ago. She slipped quickly from life to death with little discomfort. When I talked to my father he said, "It's all over." Both of his parents died of old age and the process was a hard one for him. It was for all of us. In the end, neither one of them lingered very long at the gate for which we were all very glad.

Grandmother in particular always seemed one of those "spry old ladies." She rode horses, biked across Europe, and was an avid golfer when she was younger. She was a dedicated bird watcher and is the only person I know who had a birdbath that actually attracted birds. My father bought her a heater for it one year so it wouldn't freeze.

She was a vivacious reader and introduced our family to many different books, including Harry Potter. She also enjoyed puzzles and playing the piano. Grandfather bought her a baby grand piano many year ago and it always had music on the stand. I was always amazed at her ability to participate in these activities as she had glaucoma and had to put eye drops multiple times a day to combat it. As I got older she got a desk-mounted, lit magnifying glass for reading. I know she enjoyed a lot of books, but that there were others she didn't like. After reading Dracula by Bram Stoker for a college course I called her, proud to tell her that I had read a classic. She sounded less then trilled at the title. "But Grandma," I said, "It's a classic!" "Just because it's a classic doesn't mean it's any good." I've remembered that and it still makes me smile.

Some of my favorite memories of Grandmother were of playing games. She loved card games, but would play any game that I would bring her. This included trivia, strategy, or even nonsensical games. She would explain the rules and then play a whole game. I don't ever remember quitting in the middle of a game. Granted, I don't remember winning much (or really ever), but that never damped the experience.

Grandmother also loved readying syndicated comics: Calvin and Hobbs, Zits, For better or for worse, and Foxtrot. It was not uncommon for my siblings and I to be curled up in the various chairs with our own volume of laughter. We would often switch with each other when we finished.

As I got older, married, and built my family visits with Grandmother and Grandfather became more about sitting and talking then anything else. While both of my grandparents were educated, informed and highly articulate individuals, Grandmother did much of the talking as Grandfather's hearing wasn't as good. If you ever called the house and Grandfather answered, he would quickly get you in touch with Grandmother, who could hear better and who knew what was going on. Many afternoons were spent visiting with my grandparents and listening to their thoughts. Grandmother was never afraid to share her thoughts, regardless of what you may think of her opinion. This was never done in a crass or belligerent way, but rather in a tactful, matter-of-fact kind of way. She was quick to laugh and always had an easy smile.

She will be missed. We are pleased she went quietly and quickly for as my father said, "She had places to be and people to see." We know who one of those people is. We always suspected that she and my grandfather would not be parted for long. I rejoice in my family and am glad that I will see them again and be able to introduce my children and grandchildren to those who have done so much for me. I love my grandmother. Her name was Barbara Hall Allred.

My sister posted a tribute to Grandmother as well. You can find it here.